This is the simplest tip you will probably EVER read on how to lose weight, change your outlook in life, while increasing your self-esteem.
One day after trying to lose weight for a while I saw the number I feared most: 82 kg. The weight that I always could go down to, but could never break. Every time I hit that mark, I would get stuck and slowly gain what I had lost.
After some soul-searching, I began to suspect that 82 kg was a mental limit, not a physical one. I had never been lower than 82 kg while following a healthy nutritional regime.
This time though, I decided I was going to keep my efforts to lose weight and shatter the number! I just had to figure out how…
After some soul searching, I began to suspect that 82 kg was a mental limit, not a physical one. I had never been lower than 82 kg while following a healthy nutritional regime.
So I started observing my thoughts. I noticed to my surprise that the mental image I had of myself, was of a “big” guy, not a lean, “smaller” kind of guy. The mental representation of me, part of my perceived value was on my “big” size. That explained why it was so hard to lose weight beyond the 82kg point.
Part of me wanted to lose weight and get lean, but another part, wanted the opposite. Since I was drawing part of my sense of security from being big. Having such a duality, longing for two absolute opposites, was allowing me a certain degree of success. Followed by self-sabotage and failure.
It dawn on me then, that it wasn’t about losing fat, it was about changing who I thought I was, from inside out.
The negative power of words
I started observing myself. I needed to find patterns until that day unnoticed, so I could find ways of resolving the puzzle.
I noticed that when thinking about things I wanted to achieve, my sentences would always start with the words “it would be great if…” Not the most convincing words I could think about really. In fact, by starting with those words, I was making sure the things that I desired most, never came to be.
Wishes are beautiful as long as we accept they have no substance. They are like egg shells that distract us from reality.
The problem starts when we think wishes can become true. We delude ourselves into thinking that they can happen without effort on our part. Frustration and pain follow soon.
I finally knew the reasons why I constantly failed on my weight lose.
Since I couldn’t escape my mind – I hadn’t learned how to quiet the mind yet -, I decided to defeat its ally: the mirror.
“It would be nice if” are words pregnant of what is meant to be unborn. They hide nothing but dreams that live off the rent of regret and frustration.
Soon after realizing this simple truths, a new, persistent idea came into my mind: “it is inevitable”
How to align what I wanted with who I wanted to be?
So the mind was the enemy, how to defeat it?
First of all, I stopped using the words “it would be nice”, if I were going to open my mouth, it was going to be to state facts or state actions, no dreams, no wishes.
I have never used those words again, except now, while writing this article.
Since all those small habits were the strategies of my mind trying to stay in power, I realize that the mind had to defeat it.
At that time I hadn’t learned to quiet the mind yet though, so I decided to defeat its ally: the mirror.
By not looking at my image on the mirror – the distorted image of the real self -, I was going to starve my mind from my image so all the negative mental commentary could stop.
So I decided to stop looking at myself and set a deadline: 3 months. For 3 months I wasn’t going to look at myself on the mirror AT ALL.
Bringing knowledge into action
So I started working out with a sweatshirt, just in case this hunch could bring results. After every training session, I made a point to not look myself on the mirror. I looked at myself only once fully dressed, and even that, I kept to only a couple of quick glances. Even when I had to shave, I did so, wearing an old shirt.
What happened next was incredible. After a lifetime holding a very negative image of myself, I started feeling good in my own skin.
I tried not asking my wife or anyone around if they were seeing any progress.
For those 3 months I decided to trust what I was doing, without daily negative voices in my mind telling me that I was not doing enough.
What happened next was incredible. After a lifetime holding a very negative image of myself, I started feeling good in my own skin. In the mornings, instead of getting depressed about my love handles, I woke up, got ready and went to work without anyone (myself) calling me names, without feeling disappointed. I was trusting and relying on the process.
In the gym, I stopped being self-conscious about how I looked when exercising. Now I was working out without expecting immediate results – instant gratification -. It was a first time for me; a new “me” was truly being born out of the old one.
In the night time, after a day of good, constant effort, I felt joyous. What I wanted, is what I was working for. I wasn’t wishing any longer; I was just doing, without being emotionally tied to the result!
Eating healthy food, in correct amounts, exercising, and even the feared days off and the cheating days, became enjoyable. The more I kept to my good habits, the more I knew that I could trust my plan and stick to it. No more stress or fear; I was in control and loving it. It was truly becoming inevitable!
Did I get to lose weight?
Without enemies within, my body reacted better. Without negativity I wasn’t wasting precious energy doubting myself. Without the stress of failure, I wasn’t producing cortisone, so I wasn’t flooding my body with a hormone that tells the body to store fat.
It didn’t take long for people to mention that I was looking better, slimmer and so on. It felt good, but since I wasn’t addicted to self-deprecating anymore, I stopped needing ego-boosting comments. I truly was breaking out of the mental cocoon I had encased myself in, and was breaking into a life that was calmer and more joyful.
The three months went by, and as the day approached, I was feeling excited, but not hopeful. I had detached my doing from my expectations. I knew I had given it my very best, and I already had accepted whatever result the mirror was going to reflect.
I knew it was going to be good, since all my clothes now were loose, but nothing prepared me to what I saw in the mirror: A confident, positive man wrapped by a beautiful, lean and strong body.
I had truly become a new man, and the fat loss had nothing to do about it.
After that, I tried to get myself into a 1 month “not looking at me” project, but after only a few days, it became evident that it was pointless.I had nothing to win by doing it again.
The new challenge was to stay present, stay committed to the process, and watchful to my thoughts, not to revert back to the comfortable, destructive self I had been for decades.
So how to lose weight with this tip?
- Set a period of time to do it (3 months is optimal according to my experience)
- Avoid seeing yourself in the mirror naked or while exercising
- Avoid revealing clothes
- Become aware of thoughts that judge what you are doing or the way you look
- Choose a nutritional regime that is conducive to fat loss (avoid crash diets or fads) and improved health
- Exercise regularly but don’t go into exhausting cardio sessions – they don’t work and they weaken your immune system -.
- If you know how to, use body weight exercises to keep as much muscle as possible while losing fat
- Try to buy good quality produce and cook at home as often as you can
- Keep your mind in the present (the future only tires and distracts you)
- Remain positive
- Remember, it is inevitable!
So there you go, the easiest, simplest tip way to lose fat, and if you are ready, become a new person while doing so.
By the way,in case you want to know, I lost 5 kgs during those 3 months and went from 16% body fat, to 12%. So if I could do it, so can you. Good luck!